Awkward Celebrity Crushes

You know you have one.


Okay, maybe you don’t, but you will – oh, yes, you will – once I tell you what an awkward celebrity crush is. An awkward celebrity crush is the crush you have on a famous person who is not, shall we say, classically crushable.


I really don’t know how it all began, but what I do know is that my long-time friend and one-time roommate, Sri, was involved. If you know how Sri and I are, you now know that this is all  just plain ridiculous and there’s pretty much no intellectual merit involved here at all. Consider yourself warned.


I’m pretty sure our discovery of awkward celebrity crushes occurred when we were watching a movie and one of us sheepishly admitted to thinking that Gene Wilder was kind of attractive. That someone was probably me. Lucky for me, Sri did not immediately ridicule me for having a crush on Willy Wonka. She’s a good friend. A friend who immediately revealed her own awkward celebrity crushes to me. (John Goodman, by the by.) And then we instantly began to poll our other friends to see who they were secretly admiring.


And, you know what we found? We found that more people have crushes on seemingly non-crushable celebrities than would like to admit it. Even more so, once you admit your awkward celebrity crush, it’s kind of freeing! It’s also sort of character revealing.


Here’s my shameless list of awkward celebrity crushes:


I don’t know what it is…the hair, the voice, the moderately creepy factor? All I’m saying is, you can’t deny the dreaminess of “Pure Imagination” or how precious he is as that undertaker in “Bonnie and Clyde.” Love. Him.



Don’t get me wrong, I like young Bill Murray as well, but old Bill? Old Bill is like a fine wine. It’s the laugh lines, I think. Watch “Lost in Translation” or “The Life Aquatic” and tell me he’s not totally dateable. Just try.



I actually like Old Dustin Hoffman better than young, but was forced to choose this photo out of the sheer gloriousness of the hair. You’re welcome.



So, what do these awkward celebrity crushes say about me? That I have a thing for old guys with possibly Jewish heritage and voluminous hair? I’m cool with that.


The comment section is wide open, so feel free to share your crushes, too! This is a safe place, fo sho, so don’t feel judged. Now’s the time to finally admit that you think Pauly Shore is a dream boat or that you always thought Chris Farley was cute in “Tommy Boy” (please, oh please, oh please let someone admit those, ’cause that would be too amazing for words!) Gentle sirs are welcome to join, too, just not you, Dad. I have no interest in your attraction to Angela Lansbury or some such. Shudder…

13 thoughts on “Awkward Celebrity Crushes

  1. This is too funny! Mine isn’t so much the awkwardness of my celebrity crush as the trashiness of it. I’m totally in love with Sheamus from WWE. They’re coming to Lubbock… and it’s the first thing in a long time other than work or class that I’m seriously considering getting a babysitter for and going.

  2. Vincent

    Well since I have been informed that you do not count as my awkward celebrity crush (despite clearly being a celebrity since you have a blog that people read and being very awkward), I would say Stevie Nicks and Ronnie Coleman. Angela Lansbury is a fox BTW.

  3. jeanie

    Tommy boy is one of my favorite movies and I loved Chris Farley but I am an NCIS fan and Mark Harmon – OMG – still the sexiest man alive.

  4. Rainn Wilson as Dwight Schrute from The Office.
    Maybe it’s the sexy hair-do, the beets or the Battlestar Galactica obsession, (which I will shamelessly admit to watching….and maybe enjoying) but he’s totally lovable.

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