The other day, as I was tucking Mags into bed, I leaned over to give her a kiss while she was sleeping. Since the moment my girls were born, I just haven’t been able to stop kissing them. I could kiss those sleepy little heads all day every day if I were allowed. Mags is getting so big and I can already see that there are times a-comin’ in which she may be too busy to stop and kiss her Mama. I seriously don’t even want to think about it. For now, I just steal as much sugar as I can get and I know that my Mama was the same way.
I know this because, as a senior in high school, she scared the living daylights out of me by doing that very thing.
I was the only kid still living at home (and let me tell you, that was a HUGE perk of being the baby) and had exchanged pleasantries with my parents before going to bed. However, being a high school senior, I clearly had lots of important things to do before bed, like listen to some Dashboard Confessional to feed my angst, think about how, “nobodyunderstandsmeuuuuuuuugh,” message some friends on MSN Messenger (what, what!), be angsty, plan an angsty outfit for school the next day, practice being misunderstood, etc, etc. By the time I had actually gotten in bed and turned out the light, a good amount of time had gone by.
Enough time for my mother to assume that I’d truly be asleep.
Mind you, my parents’ home is in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. No. Where. For a while, we couldn’t even see another house from our home. Now you can see the corner of a “neighbor’s” roof peeking from behind a hill. My mom is still miffed about that. Also keep in mind that this was the year that a high meth addict wandered up to our house and knocked on my bedroom window at one in the morning. I am not lying. It seriously happened and my father let her in and gave her coffee while we waited for the sheriff to come get her. Lordy be. Nobody was shanked, though, so we’re good. Jumpy, but good.
Anyway, I was in the twilight stage of sleep…not capital T “Twilight” like the sleep you get from the coma-inducing breathiness of Bella breathing, “Eeeeeedward” over and over again, but that stage of sleep where you’re almost completely out, but are still a teensy bit aware of your surroundings. I was just really drifting off when I felt this dark presence looming over me, slowly getting closer to my face, presumably to suck out my soul. Clearly. Also, I had probably just read some Harry Potter.
Now, usually when I’m presented with a fight or flight situation, I’m all for the flight. I will run like a sissy every time, hands down. However, when caught between a possible dementor’s kiss and my own bed, I was forced to fight. And by ‘fight’ I mean that I flailed wildly in hopes of making contact with some part of my “assailant’s” face while simultaneously gasping in sheer horror. My mom’s lucky that I have no coordination or she would’ve had a broken nose.
“I just wanted to kiss you good night!” was her explanation. I thought she was crazy.
But now, now that I have my own girls, I get it. I totally understand the desire to lurk into their bedrooms in the middle of the night to kiss their heads and smell their hair. I understand the pull that my mama must have felt to be drawn into my room to give me a kiss. And I’m so, so glad that she did. Nothing can ever compare to the feeling of being loved on by your mom.
I just wish mine had been a bit more sly…