First of all, thank you all SO much for your response to the first part of my series on natural childbirth. I was so excited to hear all of your input and your birth stories. Seriously, such good stuff, guys! I was all set to spend a quiet Sunday knocking out the next part of the series…

however…

My poor, sweet baby Mags slipped off of a bar stool and split her head open on the kitchen counter, requiring this mama’s first trip the the urgent care.

Lordhavemercyonmysoul, guys. There was just so. much. blood. And I know it was a head wound, so that’s to be expected, but guuuuuuugh. Really, Guuuuuuugh.

But I held it together through the mad dash to the urgent care, through the hour-long wait, through the tears and the medical explanations and the staples in my baby’s head. And by “held it together” I mean I didn’t have a melt-down until we got back to my in-laws house and I followed the hubz into the bathroom and sobbed like a lunatic.

It could have been worse. It could have been so much worse and the whole thing made me so grateful. I’m so grateful that my babies’ medical scares have been so few, that we don’t carry the burden of chronic illness like so many families do. I don’t know how those parents do it, but I’m sure it comes down to doing what you have to do, especially for your kids.

And all day the day after, through the obnoxious temper tantrums (cause, let’s face it, she’s three,) and the incessant need to touch everything within reach at the store (again, three), and the constant, constant questioning of authority (threeeee) I just kept thinking about how she’s my first.

She has been my first in so many things. My first ultrasound, my first swaddling subject, my first experience of having poop smooshed all over my chest…multiple times. She’s the one who made me a mother in the first place and I just can’t begin to even fathom how this tirelessly entertaining little person has changed my life.

I know all of the firsts won’t be pleasant and in many ways I feel bad for her since she’s essentially the guinea pig that we’re trying all this parenting stuff out on. But, gosh, she’s resilient and she makes me resilient, too. She’s taught me so, so much about truly giving of myself, of pushing myself beyond what I think I can handle, of being creative when I just want to quit. She’s taught me how to keep it together in a medical facility when I just want to scream at everyone to get with the program and fix my kid’s head.

Lesson learned, Mags. Lesson learned.

I’ll be back to my regular programming later this week, but for now I’m going to enjoy my eldest…who has incidentally learned how to post pictures on my Facebook. And here we go…