1.) Few things are more disgusting or irritating than a toddler with dog food on her breath. Again.

2.) Really, the only thing that trumps the dog food is finding an old used bandaid stuck to my sock. Again.

I’ve thrown that daddgum thing away about ninety times so I’m fairly certain that someone is digging it out of the trash can. Don’t you worry. The culprit will be found and punished and I will tape that trash can shut, and cement it if I have to…and then they’ll find some supernatural way of doing it again because they’re X Men or something. Tomorrow there will be a bandaid on my sock, mark my words.

3.) The good news is I’ve found a humane way to get away with putting my kids in a box and leaving the room.

Sometimes I even shut the lid and shake the box. They love it and I get to release pent up aggression about the continued consumption of dog food and the bandaid issue. It’s a win/win, y’all.

And for a Monday, that’s all you can really ask for.