Crime Scene Investigation: Mommy PD

We’ve entered the Barbie Phase and you know what that means. Amongst the usual flotsam and jetsam that litters our floor on a constant basis there are now tiny shoes. Pointy little land mines, you might call them. They never fall on the floor with the heel pointing down, that’s a fact of physics. They always point up, silently waiting for their next victim, usually an unwitting soul staggering through the dark house frantically searching for a diaper at 3 a.m.


And the Barbie Phase is just the tip of the iceberg. We’re in a Doll Phase, in general, so crime is not limited to the intentional booby trapping of the living room. Oh, no. Our house pretty much looks like a preschool version of Law and Order SVU at all times. All that’s missing is that “Dun, dun!” sound effect.


Consider the following evidence…


What follows is intended for mature audiences and may be startling in nature. Viewer discretion advised.



Princess of Dunbroch Found in Compromising Position



Beloved Physician Found Lifeless in Living Room: She Who Checked Up Has Now Checked Out





Twisted Body of Fairy Dug From Couch Depths




Victim Discovered in Kitchen: Identity Eludes Police, Foul Play Suspected




But don’t worry. We’ve got our best detective on the case.

He’s the Chief of Police and he’s displeased with the current state of affairs. Can’t say I blame him…