Hell Hath No Fury Like a Toddler Told ‘Wait a Minute’

When I was in college one of my roommates made this pretty cross stitch sampler that read, “I do what I want.” Gosh, I always loved that thing. It really tied the room together. I think there are some really beautiful truths all around us that deserve, nay, demand  to be cross stitched.


Not that I’m ever gonna cross stitch anything.


But, on the off-chance that one of my three readers is a cross stitch enthusiast, I thought I’d just share the truthful sayings, admonitions, and maxims that I think are worthy of a carefully stitched place on our walls.





So, I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think I’d start with something traditional. For instance, instead of “Home is Where the Heart Is,” I’d do…

“Home is Where There’s a Fork in Your Shoe”

Classic and elegant. Like my life.


You know, Ben Franklin once said, “Fools make feasts and wise men eat ‘em.” No, offence to Benjamin, but I’d change it to,

“Fools make feasts and toddlers dump them all over the damn floor.” 

It has a much better ring to it, I think.


Or how about another Ben Franklin rewrite?

“Distrust & caution are the parents of three-year-olds.”

Catchy, right? Right??

Here’s another:

“Slow and Steady Escapes the Baby’s Room”


“A Spaghetti Stain is a Stain Forever”


“The Foot Hath No Pain Like a Lego Tread Upon”

Those would both be looooovely.



So, thoughts? Suggestions? I’ve got tons of wall space, y’all, and it’s just begging to be covered in samplers…